Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
