I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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