Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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