it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
