So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
