Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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