By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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