Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
