The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
this hospital has no fireball
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
