My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
