I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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