They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize