i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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