he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
