I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
