McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
