Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
