Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It's Friday. Sex?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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