Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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