I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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