the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
