Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
