is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
