didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
