no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
