You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
vagina is talking i cant
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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