im so drunk with asians
where?
always
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
