Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
