I need help removing her.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
