How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize