some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
