Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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