So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
