She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize