yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
