Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
