i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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