she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
