just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
