Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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