That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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