Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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