even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just want to make out with him forever
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
