Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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