he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Drunk is a universal language darling
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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