Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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