you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
