i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
