For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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