Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Randomize
