she was so not down for the gang bang
im drinking this country out of the recession.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
