Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize