I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
