Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
home. puking in laundry basket.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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