Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
