when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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