I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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