I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
