I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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