I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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