I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
