Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
